It has been almost a month since my idea to start a little
blog came to fruition and I shared my first post. In that time I have really been trying to
think about exactly what I wanted to share, as my head is typically a jumbled
mess of thoughts. Should this be a blog
of my experiences as a mother? A wife? A teacher? Did I want to share my ideas for my sister’s
bridal shower? Advice for new moms on my
favorite baby products? These are all
great ideas and things I hope to write about in the future. However, they were not great starting points.
Luckily, I have been incredibly inspired by a classmate and
friend from high school. She bravely
began opening up about her struggles with fertility (you can check out her
awesome blog here) and it made me reflect on my own journey to
motherhood. For many, the process of
conceiving is not easy. Although I did
not have the same experiences as she did, I have struggled in my own ways. The struggles that I faced are not often
discussed, at least not so much in the public forum. So here I begin, sharing information that I
have passed along to about a dozen other women who also suffer from endometriosis.
Like so many women, I had a pretty difficult time with my
periods. Unlike many women, I was lucky
enough to get my period at a slightly
later age. My period didn’t begin until
a few weeks before my fifteenth birthday.
I remember the day so vividly and just how disappointed I was to be
seeing red. Not having my period made me
the envy of all of my friends! Now, I
was just one of them, getting ready to suffer through the pains of “becoming a woman.” This was just the start of the mess that is
my reproductive system.
Unpredictable was how I would best describe my cycles. Six weeks, two weeks, eight weeks, five
weeks… I had no idea when to expect this beast. And “beast” is an understatement. I remember telling my mom that I was pretty
sure my body was falling apart. The pain
was awful and the amount of blood was truly terrifying! Some days I had no idea how I was able to
function, as it seemed like I should have passed out from the blood loss. However, I just assumed that this was normal
and that everyone went through the same things.
I was simply waiting for my cycle to get a bit more regular.
Except that never happened.
By the time I was seventeen and a senior in high school it had gotten so
much worse. My cycles was so erratic and
so painful that I knew something had to be wrong. Since I was about the age of getting to see
the gynecologist for the first time, I made my appointment in the hopes that
she would be able to offer some advice as to how to deal with the horrific pain
and absurd bleeding. She said that since
I had had my period for a full two years at that point that I should have been
regular. Therefore, in order to regulate
my cycles and help with my “discomfort” she recommended that I start taking
birth control pills. The hormones in the
birth control pills should be the solution to my problems.
Sadly, the relief never came. Although the pill did allow for more regular
periods, the pain and heavy bleeding were always present. So I thought that was normal. I had the regular periods and lost the fear
that I would get my period without expecting it (which had happened more times
than I could count). I learned to live with the pain. Year after year, I would visit my
gynecologist to be told the same thing: “You are fine, just continue taking the
pill. We can try a new pill, if you
would like.” This went on for nine
years.
Stay tuned for my diagnosis of endometriosis and my continued struggled to find
relief.
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