Friday, June 27, 2014

Moms-to-be, you MUST do this!

It was a harsh cry that broke the silence at 5:00 am this morning.  The monitor on my nightstand vibrated from the sound.  Immediately, I jumped from sleep-mode in to mommy-mode.  I grabbed my video monitor and watched as poor Kendall stood in her crib, clutching her blankie.  That was the signal that something had upset her and she was not about to go back to sleep on her own.  Not a problem at all.  My girl needed me and I was there.

After nursing, snuggling, and trying to settle her down for an hour, she was asleep.  Hallelujah!  There was just one major obstacle that stood between me and my bed: her closed bedroom door.  As I sat in her glider and watched her fall in to a blissful sleep, I wondered, “How in the heck am I going to get out of here?!”  There were so many things that could and WOULD wake her up. 

First, let’s just state the obvious: my creaky bones.  I am twenty-eight years old and have the creaky bones of an eighty-year old woman.  The second I try to slither out of the chair my knees are going to crack, followed by my feet and ankles, then finished off by a lovely medley of all the vertebra in my back.  Even without anything else standing in my way, my own body was its own noisemaker.

Second, the floor.  It is carpeted, but there are some vents under the floor that make a pretty loud, hollow sound.  Since it is under the floor, I clearly can’t fix it.  Although even if it wasn’t hidden under the floor, I probably couldn’t fix it anyway.  Whatever.  There are noises and I can’t fix them. 

Lastly, the dreaded door.  It creaks.  It is a brand new door that we had installed when we did the nursery, so it isn’t old, just squeaky.  I was going to have to crawl my rickety body over the minefield that was her floor, over to the door, gently peel it open without making ANY noise, and escape through it to safety (and sleep).

Naturally, that didn’t happen.  My body failed me as I set off mine after mine in the floor.  Luckily, I made it over to the door, hidden behind her dresser.  I couldn’t see her, but she wasn’t crying.  I gingerly lifted my arm to turn the handle, pulled the door towards me and CREAK!  And she was up, crying and demanding I stay in the room until she was good and asleep.  Hidden I stayed for fifteen more minutes until she was truly asleep and I was able to slide through the six inch gap I left myself. 

Moms-to-be, learn from these mistakes!  As you finalize preparing your child’s nursery for their homecoming do not overlook one of the most important areas of their room – the door!  You may have all of the diapers, wipes, onesies, and receiving blankets you could ever possibly need.  Yet what you really need is some WD-40.  Grease down those hinges.  Make sure that door is totally quiet when you go to open or close it.  Better yet, grease down the hinges of every door in your entire home.  You never know.

Then, get yourself some glucosamine and chondroitin.  I can’t be the only one who is noticing their bodies are falling in to disrepair.  (And I do Zumba, so we all know that I should be in peak physical condition.)  It should help lubricate your joints so that it isn’t your tip-toeing out of the room that is going to cause your sleeping baby to awaken.


Take it from me, these are a few, overlooked fixes that could be the difference between this:


and this:


Good luck!


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